What Is Online Friendship Or Friendship In Audition?

I learned a lot about online friends when I started playing Audition. In this virtual world of friendship, who can you truly call your friend? Who is genuine and sincere? Who is a poser and just pretending to be your friend?

I learned that a friend is someone I trust to be with me when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable. It’s not about whether you are trustworthy, or whether you are friendly, it’s the actual act of trust that is the basis of friendship. If I trust you to be truthful, then you’re a friend. If I find I must be careful on how I say things, then it’s something other than friendship.

Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do. It's not about whether you’re good or not and it’s not a reflection of you. It is a balanced relationship between people. That doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that is being returned.

There’s a world of difference between being a friend and being a fan. I’ve heard from people who I’ve never met say we’re friends. And then of course when I do something they don’t like, I’ve betrayed the supposed friendship. They’re living in a dreamworld. The more popular my character in Audition has become, the more people have this dream. Of course that’s not friendship, that’s torture.

Recently, an incident that happened to my couple triggered me to write this article. This group of "friends" accused him of betraying them, and threatened their friendship to him by forcing him to make a decision - to choose our family or them.

“When a friend changes you can find the bond that’s connecting you at a deeper level. The surface stuff isn’t a good thing to depend on. Physical bodies change as they grow. So do emotional bodies and intellectual ones. Take a deep breath. People move, life is more like a wild dance than a ceremony. You just can’t tell what’s coming next.” - Dave Winer

This group of "friends" were trying to coerce WinterSaint into not changing. That is not friendship, that is coercion.

One of the hallmarks of a person who is more likely to be a friend-that-was than a friend-for-life, is that person quotes anonymous people who say they were my friends but I betrayed them. That’s such a huge turnoff, that usually wakes me up in an instant. A friend would never even consider saying something like that, because it’s so objectifying, so impersonal, so unfair, so un-friendly. In a court of law you’re entitled to cross-examine your accusers. Same in the court of friendship.

I am thankful to meet my couple WinterSaint, and family members - Bizenghast, October and WinterHeart. They are the people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with me when I am so helpless and weak. Thank you for being my friends and being there for me when I was at my lowest. Thank you...